Associated Press Style Guide: Approved Titles For President Donald J Trump

With the recent inauguration of President Trump and subsequent declaration of war against the press, the AP Style Guide has been asked to provide clarification regarding official titles and provide an acceptable list of alternate designations, both for the President and his staff.

 

Updated List of Acceptable Titles for the President:
  • President D…ump(sterfire)
  • Any combination of the following emoji: 👎💀💸🏆🔥👑👺
  • The (alleged) President
  • The Commander-in-Queef
  • DJT (Dick Jealous Traitor)
  • Boss Hogg
  • Emperor Cheeto
  • President Spraytan Hairplug
  • King Dickcheese Tinyhands
dickcheese-tinyhands
  • Yuge Loser
  • “Someone Made a Poopy!”
  • Dumb Hitler
  • Man Tits-ler
  • Lil Pee-Pee Man
trump-pee-pee
  • Daddy Warcucks
  • Rusty C McTaint (the C stands for “Crusty”)
  • POTUS MORE LIKE “SMOTE US” AMIRITE
  • The President of the United States of Fuck-It-We’re-Doomed-I’m-Looting-Target-And-Building-A-Fortress-Made-Of-Wine-Cubes
wc
White House Staff and members of the President’s Cabinet may be referred to as:
  • Those People
  • Putin’s Poo-Team
  • Dementors
  • Soulless Husks
  • Thy Staff Are Yuge Rods
  • Team Treason
  • Meat Muppets
  • Cash Pigs
  • Flying Monkeys
  • The Shart Brigade
  • Garbage-men/women
  • Literal Monsters
  • Trump Business School Graduates
  • “💩💩💩”
  • (Image of a “Participant Trophy”)

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